Tarot By Enchanting Erica

Shadow work, amirite? It’s hard. I’m dealing with myself every day and trying to keep it together, but it’s a challenge.

Some people think that I’m a mostly chill and laid-back person. Which for the most part can be true. I kind of don’t sweat the small stuff when the small stuff is not someone deliberately being rude or mean. Accidents happen, stuff breaks, someone changes their mind, it’s sad but oh well.

People using slurs or being deliberately rude or mean-spirited sets me off. Maligning someone, being unfair, I cannot deal with it. Whether it is to me or someone else. And you will know, because I will tell you. I recently had to hold myself back pretty hard to not cause a major scene at a bad time. I will Hulk out.

I don’t rant on my personal SM too much because frankly I don’t think anyone wants to hear it. Or algorithms block me, IDK. I get zero interaction on topics as innocuous as reminding people about a school board election (which is very important!). If I posted my never ending rage about the gen-o-cide in Palestine (will this post be blocked too?), or the oppression of pretty much everyone, or how everything I was spoon-fed in US history class was a jingoistic lie, nobody would want to interact with me and they’d probably end up stabbing their eyes out. I try to channel this by writing letters and signing petitions (like the old lady I am), showing up to rallies, and donating to community support organizations. And then I rage quietly to my journal, or husband, who also expresses his rage in return.

I was once told that a former professional contact used to refer to me as a “bulldog.” And in all honesty, I dig that. Meaning, I am tenacious and won’t let something go until it is resolved. That serves me well professional, but not always personally. I’m still working on when I should walk away, while at the same time not talking myself into being the quiet, submissive female who doesn’t kick up a fuss, no matter how justified. It’s a fine line.

Are you delving into shadow work too? What are your challenges?